New thoughts on REALLY old post

New thoughts on 27 Dresses

So 2 years ago…all I wanted was the day…a day when all eyes would be on me. Now what I want is just to spend the rest of my life with the man I love. I still want to get married before he does, but I don’t mind waiting. I still want everything before, but I want it more now. I want more than ever to sleep next to him and wake up next to him, to make dinner for him and to cuddle up on a couch with him at the end of the night, and do it all over again the next day. I even want all the hard times, the bills and the stupid fights, everything.

I was right to worry about Pennsylvania, but in the end it gave me a new found appreciation for him that I would not have had if he hadn’t gone to school out there. It has been just about 4 years and he’s my best friend in the whole world, and he’s everything I could’ve wished or hoped for.

So in the movie she says that her favorite part of the wedding is when the bride is walking down the aisle and everyone turns to look at her, she likes to look at the groom, because there is such love and affection in his expression. I love it.

So now it is my turn to wait patiently (or as patiently as possible) for everything to happen. But either way, I can say that I’m happy just to have him in my life. Whether it happens in a year or 10 years, it doesn’t matter anymore. All I know is that when it happens I won’t be looking to see how many people are looking at me, or how big and extravagant everything is, I will be looking at him, because his eyes are the only ones that matter to me anymore.

Weekend

This past weekend my cousin Todd got married to a wonderful girl named Jenn. I know they will be extremely happy together. And I wish them the best of luck in their lives together.

My family and I had the pleasure of driving to Hobart and Merriville to witness Todd and Jenn's wedding. Danny and I set out with 3 different sets of directions there..confusing enough i know. We set out fine and we got all the way to Portage then thought we missed the exit so we turned around an got off in Valpo. We got turned around again and ended up in Westville. We ended up going the wrong way so we had to turn around. But eventually we made it to the church we were still about 30 mins early. It was the first Catholic wedding i've ever been to...it was nice. It was a long night but it was a lot o fun.

On Sunday we got up super early to get breakfast and then we got in the hot tub for a few minutes. Before long we had most of the family with us. It was fun to swim around with the family. After the swim it was time to check out and head for home. But first we went to Denny's with Troy, Chad and Meghan. I love my cousins!

So the weekend came to an end and today it is time to get back to reality. Lots of work this week..my only day off being on Wednesday. Good thing is that I get to spend time with Danny : )

Long time...

It has been a very very long time since i have written anything on my blog. So So So much has changed and happened since the last time i wrote. There have been heart breaks and reunions, birthdays and holidays and lots of theater.

To start with, Danny came home from school and got a job somewhere in Michigan and lived with his dad again. But that didn't work out, so he went back to Discount and got his job back there..and since he was in Elkhart he came and lived with us : ). He even has his own room which he likes. We are doing better now than we were before he went to school. Being apart made us appreciate each other so much more than we did. He now has an amazing job at Tom Naquins' working as a Nissan tech. We are beginning to save money so that we can move out, it will be a while but we are gonna get there.

Me..i have been doing ok. School ended more than a month ago and I could not be happier about that! I have only done one play since i did the Halloween show. We did a show called WIT which was all about a woman struggling with ovarian cancer. After the end of that show i finished out the school year. But as soon as the school year ended i began picking up shifts at work. And that has been my life since the end of April. I think i need to adopt my school sleep schedule though, because i am just exhausted. I know i don't work Mon-Fri 8-5 but i do work about 5 or 6 days a week.

I am hoping that this summer i can enjoy the warm weather and be able to hang out with my friends and Danny a lot. Since Danny has his new job i only see him on weekends and almost every other night when i am home. Today is my usual Tuesday double shift, host in the morning and then expo at night. Unfortunately today is a Buy 1 get 1 free Burger...which means our Tinker Tuesday $3.95 is buy 1 get 1 free. Lunch today was INSANE!!! And tonight i am not looking forward to this crazy mess that i will in. It is time for work now...we'll see how i can survive this night!

Maybe

"Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change"

~ Sick Puppies "Maybe"

Summer and School

So I realized that with only 4 days of summer left that this has been a kind of disappointing and not complete summer. I knew that this would be a kind of dull summer what with Danny being gone, but I didn't think it would be as bad as it was. This summer had its highs like going to Pennsylvania to visit Danny, and going to the drag races in Ohio. But it also had its low points, no Danny, no camping, hardly any friend time. But most of all, no Wisconsin. They every summer family vacation to Crandon, Wisconsin. All summer long whenever it was a chilly morning or a really windy day, even right after it had rained I would say "It feels like a Wisconsin day!". No matter where I go in the world, I think that Crandon will always be my favorite place. I love the way everything smells up there, and the sound of the waves. No summer seems to be complete without a trip to Wisconsin.

With summer coming to an end..I am heading straight for a really busy schedule. However, I am hoping for an awesomely amazing end to my summer with this Labor Day weekend. Saturday Danny comes home. Sunday is Blueberry Festival (always exciting)!!!! And Monday is Eric's birthday party then Danny goes back to school. School starts on Tuesday, and I'm not looking forward to my first class. Although I am excited to start a new semester at Southwestern Michigan. My first class happens to be Math, not my favorite subject. This class is followed by a drive over to the the Dowagiac campus for Psychology. Following the end of Psyc I get to come home and eat, and not long after that I get to drive to Osceola for play practice.

Not only will I have this play (Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness: An Evening of One Act Plays) the day after it ends I am immediately involved in another play (Spoon River Anthology). My schedule will be crazy and I am hoping I can handle it.

finally

I finally think i have found where and what i am supposed to be doing. I applied to Southwestern Michigan University and was nervous about being accepted. And every day I anxiously awaited for a letter saying whether i got in or not. And finally today after all this waiting I got my letter. I opened the letter not knowing what to think and starting reading and I got very excited. The first word was Congratulations! My heart jumped! It proceeded to say that I was accepted and that I needed to send them my transcript from Ivy Tech then I can register for classes. I got my student ID, my email and password. The last thing on the letter said "Welcome to Southwestern Michigan University" and it was almost instant relief. I feel like i'm doing the right thing for the first time since I started school.

Environmental Science is what I want to be doing and I am so excited to be going to SMU!

The 4th...

This year the 4th of July was not at all normal. Normally the weekend before the 4th or the weekend of the 4th, we have our annual reunion in Middlebury. Not this year. The original plan was to have a gathering at Essenhaus, then that fell through so no reunion. Also the past 2 4th of July's Danny and I have had a pretty nice little display of fireworks. The first year we had 2 back packs full. Last year we had a duffel bag and and back pack full. This year? The only fireworks I bought were the lame flashers and a box of crackle balls. So no fireworks bought. Then lastly, Danny's not here. It's very strange to not have him here to go watch fireworks, or to be buying fireworks.

The only fireworks I have seen are the Bremen ones and then Black Squirrel ones. Bremen's were last night and they were pretty cool. Troy and I walked around the Fair and as per tradition we had to play the win a fish game. And one out of 56 balls and of course it was Troy's. Then we went back to the Huff's and we played some more croquet, then back to watch fireworks.

Tonight we went to Goshen and watched fireworks. I took corn hole and my dad and Troy and Grandpa and I played. I actually had a good corn hole night. Fireworks were awesome tonight!

I had the choice yesterday to go to the beach with some friends. My car has a wheel barring that is going bad and I didn't want to risk driving all the way up to St. Joe and risking breaking down someplace. Instead I went to Bremen and had a fun afternoon and evening with my family.

But overall this has been a very weird and strange 4th of July...

Recap of the last 9 days.

Friday 6/19- Danny home!!!
Saturday 6/20- Nothing too exciting. Relaxed because Danny had just gotten home.
Sunday 6/21- Danny and I got pizza and rented all 5 of the Harry Potter movies. We watched the first and second movies, and didn't go to sleep until 4.
Monday and Tuesday 6/22-6/23- Danny was at his dad's until Tuesday night. We went and babysat at Cari's on Tuesday night. We also watched the 3rd and part of the 4th Harry Potter movies.
Wednesday 6/24- Danny and I went to Menards and bought Corn Hole! We watched the rest of the Harry Potter movies. We played a lot of corn hole too.
Thursday 6/25- Danny and I went to Silver Beach in Michigan. Lots of sun and lots of water time. It was a perfect day for the beach. We played more corn hole.
Friday 6/26- We drove the long drive to Norwalk, Ohio to go to the NHRA drag races. It was a lot of fun. Then the next stop was Lake Eerie, we were in Sandusky just across the way from Cedar Point. Then we made the long drive back home. We were so beat afterward!!
Saturday 6/27- We went to Danny's dad's for a little while in the evening. We were still tired from the day before.We played some corn hole when we got back. My dad played a game with us too.
Sunday 6/28- Danny and I made a run to his Grandma's house in Edwardsburg. Then when we got back we played a little Super Mario All Stars, old school i know. Then we packed corn hole up and went to Shannon's. Danny spent the first hour we were there with Jake and Shannon's dad working on the filter for the pool. Shannon and I played a little corn hole and played in the pool for a bit. They finally got the filter going and Jake and Danny got in. Before long Shannon's dad came out carrying pizza. So nice. I had asked my mom to bring up some pool supplies, and she did which we appreciated very much. Goggles, snorkels and tubes. It was beyond fun. We swam until 10, so much fun! Then unfortunately Danny had to leave tonight. He only has 1 class and 3 months left. And he will be back the 11th of July.
I have to say that this has been an awesome 9 days!!!

Beach

Danny and I went to Silver Beach in St. Joe, MI. We didn't get away as early as I would have liked but it was still good time. It was super hot out today so it was a good day to go to the beach. I was prepared to pay $8 to park, but when we got there, there were 2 parking lots that said "Free Parking All Day", so i tried to find a place to park, no luck. There was a spot that Danny thought I could squeeze into it, so as I was rounding the corner, a woman was pulling out of one of the front parking spots and we did not hesitate to take it. We had a very long walk to the beach, and the sand was super hot when we got down to it. But we found a less crowded spot on the beach and set up our stuff, then it was into the water. The water felt amazing. I love the water, i could spend every minute in the water. After about 3 hours we decided it was time to come home. So we packed everything up and made the long trudge back to the car. Finally back at the car we headed for home. Today was a good day of time with Danny, sun, water and relaxation.

Tomorrow my parents Danny and I are going to Norfolk Ohio to the NHRA drag racing.

Hot

It is unbelievably hot outside! Yet Danny and I are still going to brave the heat and play some corn hole and probably go float in the creek. Floating in the creek is an awesome time. You start at Cr. 6 or however high you want with your tubes or rafts and float down. You have to avoid the branches and trees down across the creek, but it is a lot of fun. Danny and I have been wanting to buy corn hole for a long time now, and it went on sale at Menards.

I have also as of today sent in my application to Southwestern Michigan University to study Environmental science. It feels like a huge relief to know that i can go to a school that has the program I want. Now it's just a matter of figuring out financial aid and all surrounding it. I'm kind of at my wits end about school and where to go and what to do, it's so frustrating! But whatever is meant to be with school will be.

Toay was good

Today Jake Shannon and I went and floated in the creek. Well first off I'm house/dog sitting for my neighbors perry and vicki. They have 3 big labs Cheeseburger, Kiwi and Coconut. Shannon and I went to Walmart when she got off work. And then Jake and Shannon came over and we went to perry's and sat in the creek for a bit. Shannon was looking for rocks and jake and I were walking around. Then we decided to go and get rafts to float down the creek with. My dad blew them up for us and we went down to th creek. We just did a little ways first, we got in by the fence separating the apartments and floated down to perry's. It was fun so we decided to go a little longer distance. So we packed up in my car and drove to the 7-11 on Cr. 6. We got out and walked through someones yard to get in the creek and avoid the tree blocking the creek. We got in, Shannon was having trouble on her raft so we had a sort of slow start. Jake was being crazy screaming, but it was funny. It was a long way back to perry's but it was fun. Although we were getting scraped up pretty bad. But it was a lot of fun. Then my mom took us back to my car and we went and got little ceasars, yummy. Then we just kind of hung out at my house for a while. Such a fun evening!!!

Now time for bed. I have to get up at 730 to let the dogs out, then work at 1045, then babysitting at 7. Busy day tomorrow. 4 more days!!!!

Thursday and Friday night

So the last 2 nights have been awesome!!!

Thursday-There was a new and used car sale at the Elkhart Airport this weekend. Shannon has been wanting to look at a Jeep Liberty so we decided that we would go and look at some cars. We got there and started in the back row of cars where all the trucks and SUV were. I found an Equator that I really liked but it was kinda weird. So we walked around we found some Liberty's then we found THE car! A Jeep Compass we sat in every single seat and opened every possible door. We LOVED that car!!! Oh and we got free popcorn and water! We went to Taco Bell after wards and got Fruitistas and sat and ate them. Then we went back to Shannon's and watched So You Think You Can Dance. Fun inexpensive night!!!

Friday- I got up at 6:00 and my mom and dad and I were on our way to Warsaw for my aunt and uncles garage sale. We got down there and started setting up tables and then it was time to start. Eric had a lemonade and candy stand. I maned the money box today and it was pretty fun. Although my math skills were kinda off today. But then we went to Goshen and went to Michaels and Target. Then home to eat and go to the Everyday Sunday concert at Crossroads church. The concert was really fun and good. Abbey Olinger came with us, Shannon and I went up to the front with the 12 year olds (haha) and stood up there for a while. It was a lot of fun!!! And the band is really good!! Best part..it was FREE!!!

PA and Beyond

So I haven't posted anything since my trip to PA. I had an awesome time out there. It was quite lonely when he went back to school on Tuesday after memorial day. While I was out there I pretty much stayed in Danny's room because of his roommates. But when he was in class for 9 hours so I took advantage of the empty living room. I went and watched the sun go down several nights. Danny would come back for lunch which was nice. Then he'd be gone until around 2am, then sometimes we would go hang out with some of his friends. One morning we didn't even get back to his room until the sun was rising. Those are the hours I pretty much have at home, only i don't sleep all day. In fact barely sleep. Danny and I spent memorial day at the lake with his family which was nice. Then he went back to school. I think I am still recovering from those hours and trying to get back to normal hours, whatever those are.

Now that I am home though I have been thinking about school. I don't think Interior design is the right thing for me. Right now I am just wishing for a simple answer. I want a magic coin that I can flip and it will tell me what the right thing to do with my life is. Because I really don't have an answer right now, and I need one very soon. I do know that I don't want to go back to Ivy Tech, I need something a little more challenging. I just need to find the right place to go, some place with a good science program. Environmental, or biology something in that field.

I am going to watch That 70's Show and think about the whole school thing and many other subjects. : )

Kittens pt 2.

So we gave the kittens to the lady that gave us Savannah, she is going to raise them until they are old enough to be taken. It was extremely sad to see them go. It is amazing how much you can get attached to something in such a short amount of time. We got a call tonight to update us on the kittens. Unfortunately we lost the little calico i named Calla Lily. : ( But it is ok. I miss the little kittens, but we will see them soon enough.

On a happier note. Danny is coming home tomorrow for the weekend. Then i get to go to PA with him. I'm so excited to see him, it has been 2 months since i've seen him. I cannot wait to spend A whole week with him. Yay!!!

Kittens

Today I woke up not feeling to great. I didn't sleep much last night. My mom had an interview this morning at 830 so when i got up at 845 i was home alone. I came out in the living room and watched some TV. My mom got home later and that's when the fun began. She said she thought we had a kitty in the garage. She had heard i crying earlier but couldn't look because she had her interview. So we went in the garage and started looking. We heard a faint cry on the far side of the garage so we started taking stuff out of the way. We kept hearing a crying, and it was coming from the bottom of the black cabinet. We finally got down there and there were 3 little kittens crying out. We took them out and put them in a box with warm with a warm blanket. They don't even have their eyes open yet. I went downtown to Martin's Pet and Garden to get some kitten milk and a few bottles. I came back and my mom said she had found another one. Their are 2 black, 1 gray and white and a calico one. They are adorable! We have fed them with a bottle and we left them out to see if the mom would come back and claim them. She came back but wouldn't go in the box. The kittens are now sitting in a box in the garage with the door open so that maybe the mom will come back.

FINALLY!!!!!!!

FINALLY IT'S SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And what better way to start the summer than hanging with my family on Sun..then the next week i'll be in PA!!! Best start to the summer!!!!


YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pond

I love being able to walk just a short way down from my house and see this. This picture was taken at the very beginning of spring, so there aren't any leaves or flowers up. But it is still one of the most peaceful places around. Walking down to the creek is very calming and relaxing. Walking down to the pond and the creek, even for a little bit was much needed. With finals and papers and the end of school within a day, my head is absolutely everywhere. I can't focus on anything and my brain feels like it can't form anymore papers. Taking a walk down to the creek was a nice break from my papers.

Only 1 more day of school, one 800 word paper, 2 finals and i'm done! Then PA for 8 days!

oops

Ok so I've never been East. Actually I've never really been anywhere. For some reason I get East and West confused, who knows why. Thank you Chad for the correction.


15 days...4 days of school...

Can't wait!

YAY!!

The first glimpses of spring. The crocuses popping out of the ground.


I'm so incredibly excited!!! Danny and I had been talking about me coming out to PA since he left for school. Now it is only a mere 16 days away! Originally I was going to take the train out of Elkhart to Pittsburgh to Greensburg and he would pick me up from there. Then do the same on the way back. Then it turned into Danny coming home and me riding back with him then taking the train home. Finally we came to the conclusion that he would come home and I would ride to PA with him. Then he would come home and I would ride back to IN with him. We have a final date set, the sat or sun after my mom's birthday. So the 16th or 17th. Then I will be back Memorial day weekend. I am SO unbelievably excited to go! I've never been west.

School gets out in 5 days...and PA in 16. Awesome start to the summer!

Pre Easter Thoughts

I was thinking about all of the past Easters in my life. When i think about it, i think of how my parents would hide my Easter presents all around the house. They would tell me if i was hot or cold, when i was getting close to the present. I always think of one specific time. Every time the Easter decorations start coming out, i think of this plastic bendy bunny that we had. You could shape it's legs and arms into anything. Well one year i took it upon myself to put it on a lamp while it was on. The bunny proceeded to melt and I got yelled at. But every year I always think about it.

Then i think about Easters at the Huff's. It would be the Huff's, the Wise's, the Firstenberger's and the Amacher's. We would sit down and eat lunch, then we would socialize. After wards the adults would hide Easter eggs either outside or inside depending on the weather, while the "kids" would be in a room in the house. We would all be assigned a color, there was green, blue, yellow, purple, pink, orange, yellow-blue, and pink-purple. We always had so much fun hunting the eggs..we would try and see who got done first. Usually it was Chad or Greg who would finish first. Then we would all sit in the living room and open our eggs, they would usually consist of candy of all kinds, dollar money and change. Every now and then there would be a shower cap or something fun. Usually balloons of some kind that would be blown up in the next 30 minutes. One year the pigs got out and the adults went out to chase them down haha. We would set up a Volleyball net in the backyard and play. The last several years have been pretty gloomy and cold outside.

Last Easter was a special one. We had Easter at Todd's house, and Danny came last year. We sang songs and socialized. It was a very special and good day. Easter is a week from today, who knows what will happen this year. I just know that Easter is always a special time for our family, as it should be.